Piers' Dumped Motors

 

Sponsored by:

Valiant2.jpg (1552 bytes)

Rabbit Vehicle Protection

Protecting your car for a brighter tomorrow

Hackney residents need not apply

 

This page is dedicated to my longest known friend and compatriot. Piers. Ever since I have known him he has had a love of cars. As a child he had a shelf in his bedroom festooned with all the coolest Dinky and Corgi motors and they were kept in mint condition. Today he still has these toys and now displays some of them in a glass cabinet in his house. The adult Piers can only be described as a "Polisher". He has a collection of over 600 brass blowlamps of varying sizes which have been restored along with 13 petrol driven lawn mowers which he has got for next to nothing and got going again. Married to the lovely Tracey who advises him on polishing techniques and is an example to us all on the virtues of helicopter engine impressions in modern society.

Piers loves Ford Capri's. He currently owns three of the beasts, a 2.0l Ghia, a beefy 3.0l Sport and, the highly desirable 280 Brooklands . Along with a Fiat 126 Arbarth, his white van and a newish Escort you'd think this man has enough vehicles to play with, wouldn't you? Oh no...

The supreme team

...Piers latest craze is to spot dumped and abandoned vehicles that he finds in his day to day job as a van driver round the now grotty East End of London.  Whether they be in Hackney, Newham, Shoreditch or the Wanstead Flats, Piers spots em.

Together, with me riding shotgun, we go and snap as many of these motors on his round as possible. Piers drives at over 100mph so we don't get mugged for the camera. The effects of travelling at such speeds are dangerous and stretch your skin as well as the very fabric of time. An example of this can be seen below.

Kiss my picture and win a prize

So here, for all you petrolheads and idiots that just like to trawl around duff websites, are some of Piers private motors and a collection of images of cars he has seen whilst driving about East London.

 

 

 

 

Dudley. Piers' Fiat Arbarth Cappucino sitting next to the now ex Hubbard Media Group company vehicle Given to him by an old lady who went blind and couldn't find her car keys anymore

Dudster
Stretched like so many girls fannies

The Escort. This is Piers daily driver (except when his good lady has it) Relatively new and like everything else Piers owns, in immaculate condition. You would never guess that this was once, three different vehicles.

This MkIII is Piers very own pride and joy. The 280 Brooklands seen here on a run out after Piers has just washed and waxed it. Never driven out in the wet if he can help it (as it handles so poorly) Stored at night in a specialy adapted "drive in" compartment built into the spare bedroom in his house, where he lavishes it with a lot of love and bukaki.

Aint she a beauty?

Capri 500

Phoned in by Glen. This Renault pictured on the A127. Smashed to hell and back

Great shot taken at speed !!!!!

Mile End Road marks the more than fitting "end of the road" for this Vauxhall. Left to dissolve into the pavement with a couple of half finished cans of drink on the dash safely locked out of the reach of thirsty passers by on the hot days of summer.

Wankers !!

A Fiesta ends its days in the residents parking area of a block of flats near Homerton Hospital. Windowless and devoid of any lights, this clapped out old chuffer will be removed in a year or so by the council.

Close to Homerton Hospital this Cavalier has been locked away from scavengers whilst its owner converts it from a hard top to a convertible.

At this point, he has reached Stage 2. The peel back stage. Not seen in picture is the giant sardine tin key he is using to assist him in this process.

This poor man has been dumped along with his car, by his missus. Left to rot in his locked car without the keys, in a side turning off the Mile End road. As you can see decomposition has not yet set in, but there's a funny smell round there which can only be attributed to his yellowing pants.

Vorsprung Durch Fucked !!!!

This Audi has taken a beating. Left to rot after taking part in the dumpers section of Homerton Carnival, it failed to gain entry to the torchlight procession because all the lights had failed and it was not on fire.

To the left of the sign in the background can bee seen the Golf GTI featured further down this page.

A smacked up 205. This one was used by the Newham Posse for ballistics testing of their new molatov cocktail dispenser. If you were an occupant you would be quite adequately protected as the glass has not been compromised, but how about that dent. Oooh wee !!!!

Amazingly this TVR is DUMPED! This was taken in Chigwell where the hoy paloy live. After asking around we found out that the owner had bought it and driven it around until it ran out of petrol. Then, he just left it by the side of the road and went an bought a new one that had a full tank of gas.

Those CRAZY gentry!!!!!!

Stupid Stupid Stupid A Canvey Hot Hatch. This one belonged to the Aluminium, Glass and Perspex Enthusiasts (AGPE) club based on the island. Naturally they have removed their favourite items and just left this for the council to deal with. Nice !!!

 

This Citroen is quite simply a bunch of arse. Left for the council to deal with after France got pushed out of the World Cup by its disgruntled, garlic eating, onion selling, stripy jersey and beret wearing, anti freeze drinking, thoughtless, froggy owner.

Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Garlic smelling frog twats made this

fiat.jpg (13028 bytes)

This Fiat is the only way the owner of the shop in the background could have an extension built on his premises for the cooking and selling of take away food.

Finding a local youth who could shoot the tyres out was not a problem, so there it stays.

A beacon to the professional drunks who wander up and down the road each night looking for anything they can eat for the few coppers they have left in their pockets

This Peugeot 205 has seen better days, and so had the wall of the house just behind it before this silver excocet careened down the street hit another car and BOTH ended up in the front garden. The broken wall can just be made out near the for sale sign. If I lived in Hackney, I'd move too, and bloody sharpish!!!!

colinmobile

like a virgin

A Nissan Sunny this time, though not looking particularly sunny due to the fact it has its windscreen missing and a half arsed attempt at covering it up with a blue tarp. Flat Tyres on both sides compliment this fine little runabout.

The owner of this Golf GTi was attempting to jump over a couple dining "Al fresco" at their patio table when this accident happened. He did not get enough run up and the man was crushed under the weight of the car. His chair can be seen under the front valance. Passers by rushed over and just ripped the car apart rendering it immobile so that the council can dispose of it in a few months

cafe society sucks

the car thats taking over

Patients of Homerton Hospital get to see this lovely Nova if they look out of the windows of their wards. Unfortunately the owner of this car will not be able to see it for a few more months, until the bandages come of his third degree burns. The price you pay for trying to keep your curry hot by placing the bag under the bonnet.

Thurrock Services this time and though this Sierra looks, OK, its not. It has been here for TWO weeks. A dent to the rear door and a missing bumper tell us that it might be dumped. Truth is, the owner is still inside the shop trying to decide which porny mag he's going to buy to accompany his Ginsters pie. This car has absolutely no material value whatsoever.

total shite

i cant see shit can you?

Another Volvo ! This one is in Hackney. Home of the "Dumper" After being used in a ram raid on a confetti shop this sad tired car has been left for the council to collect and make into a desk ornament

Another Canvey. Another Volvo. They do seem to be the choice of the car dumping professional. This one's on the way to Canvey tip. The owner, who lived in the house in the background, was a Calor Gas sales rep. He was almost at home with the next days demonstration gas bottle (seen in back of car) when a young Canvey toddler threw his cigarette butt in through the sunroof. the resultant explosion blew the car clean over the grass bank to land in a ball of flames where it sits now.

kablowee

bigger shite

The owner of this car couldn't afford a sexy XR3 Cabriolet so he decided to smash all his windows out last summer for that cool breeziness. Its winter now and he's bought a Fiat 126 to ponce around in during the colder months. Spack !!!!

Namby Pamby but still a dumper. This beaten up and illegally parked Orion has had all the leads taken out from under the bonnet (we checked) by an anti spark plug and rotor arm activists group.

Watch out they could be operating in YOUR area soon.

Rosso Red, take me to bed.

That's it that's the Nova. The car that's taking over

This converted Nova had no wheels on it for a genuine reason. It was a prototype "hover-car" It broke down on its maiden trial run. Luckily, the boffins at Vauxhall removed all the secret components and scurried away in a Flex 7 technology mini van, leaving the carcass for the council to deal with in a few months.

A double whammy residing in a block of flats near Hometon Hospital. This Fiesta and VW were part of a Golden Jubilee DUMPING RACE held by the residents of the flats. The Vee-dub was the winner, due to the fact that in the timed period of 20 Seconds from the adjudicators starting gun, it had a smashed windscreen and no wheels.

Double entendres

Fucking Piece of Shit

The beauty of this XR2 really shines out from this picture. Taken in the BP Services carpark on the Eastbound A13 near Grays. Stripped of all its dignity and power, it is now used as a makeshift toilet when the services are shut.

The little girl that rides this bike is actually stuck in that black box thinking it was a doorway to Narnia. The Police let her out with a caution minutes later.

"Mummy?"
Peep Peep This one technically is not a "dumper" but looks like it is due to the selfish way it has been parked. Piers has seen this one driving about still minus its wheels as the owner prefers to save his rubber for motorway driving.

This has to be the ultimate dumped car. This MR2 is actually parked outside a newsagents in Hackney and all this occurred whilst the owner was inside buying a paper.

Brutal !!!!

Cunts !!!!!

Marshmallows anyone?

Closer to home this time. This baby is over on Canvey and was accidentally set on fire when the old boy that owned it, farted whilst trying to light his cigarette using the cigar lighter. A flash fire occurred making the bonnet flip up and secure itself in the correct manner. When the fire brigade arrived on the scene the old man had disappeared...

...Right round the corner to where these two Vauxhalls were parked. Still on fire he banged on each window for help and inadvertently set them on fire also. Luckily the occupants were not in the vehicles but merely yards away indulging in heavy petting sessions behind the grass bank you can see in the background. Sexy, but a long walk home if you ask me.

Arse

The Yardies did this

 

A Dumped M Series Beemer. This was used in a ram raid on an incontinence bedsheet factory a few hundred yards away from where it has been dumped in this picture

Weeks later Hackney market had an abundance of bedwetter duvet sets for sale at knockdown prices.

Natrually our "man in the van" purchased a couple and tried them out in a frenzy of garish nightmares and sodden dreams

A side view of same Beemer.

Open air for rear passenger comfort

This unlucky Renault Megane was dumped straight into the back of my friend Glen's Ford Focus. Luckily the Focus will live to fight another day. Perhaps France should have gone to war with the rest of us. They seem to know fuck all about building strong cars!  

What follows next, beggars belief. This dumped Rover 216 Vanden Plas was driven by someone who had just seen some of the worlds greatest car stunts on television. He decided to have a go himself. Driving down the A13 at Dagenham, he got this beast up to 115mph when he hit the up ramp of the fly-over. And fly over he did. Clean over the Service station underneath and landing in the street, he barrel rolled his car 27 times before coming to a rest here. Fortunately the driver escaped unhurt but now prefers the use of one of those adult tricycles.

Fan bloody tastic !!!!!!

Andy McIlroy's old car

So there you have it. I'm sure more images will appear soon but these are good to be going on with

Main Page

 

 

Web Portal Version 0.6.8

Author: Phil Hubbard

  Copyright 2004 Hubbard Media Group